I was going to write a big long blog about how Jesus is no different than Zarathustra, Muhammed, Buddha..etc. By that I mean virgin births that go way back to many different belief systems, including some “pagan” ones that Christianity has stolen dates from (ie. Christmas/Easter). I’ll sum it up and get my point out of the way. I don’t think some dead Jew was the son of God. We are all sons and daughters of god, whatever “God” may be. The whole gist of the post was going to be how I’ve never been able to comprehend the worship of one man from a patriarchal Jewish society who’s been dead for 2000 years. In that I can’t fathom worshipping any other man, especially when the historical facts don’t point in their favor. If Jesus is the son of God, I am too. He might have been a much better person than me, but that was his journey, and this is mine. However, I think if you took the New Testament by itself you’d have an entirely different and better religion, if there is such a thing. Be that as it may, I will now focus on fact that not having the change of four seasons really throws my internal clock off.

In Wilmington, NC which happens to be located on the eastern coast, the leaves don’t turn any shades of aspen yellow, or brilliant orange before they fall to the ground. This area seems to just fade from summer to winter without any acknowledgement between the two. Mostly longleaf pine, the eastern seaboard doesn’t lend itself very well to a beautiful autumn from the get go. It just amazes me how attached I am to the changing of seasons. It doesn’t seem natural for me to go from summer to winter without the autumn, full of changing leaves, the crisp air and morning frost along with a slew of fresh cider and donuts from the mill down the road. Instead I’m dealing with a drought and 80 degree weather at the end of October. I hate it. If I could be anywhere for two weeks out of the year it’d be home in the Allegany mountains when the leaves are changing. Maybe not for sheer beauty, although I do rank it up there with what I’ve seen in my short life, but because I’m so attached to the memories and the vibe of the place. Fall brings back memories of playing football, putting away the shorts for the jeans, walking in the woods and most importantly the reminder that we are part of something greater than ourselves. Nature’s wonder and beauty are playing out right in front of our eyes while the earth starts tilting away from the sun and the trees prepare for the long winter. There’s something magical about that time of year. Maybe it has something to do with Halloween and the spiritual activity of the place awakening. Or maybe, the area has a spirit of its own which I’ve grown so fond of. It’s not something you can appreciate until you leave. The part of North Carolina I live in now is devoid of any type of “magic,” instead its full of condos and traffic. Maybe it’s all the negativity from the people that’s in the air. Or maybe this place doesn’t embrace the people like the land does back home because of what they’re doing to it. I know I speak of the land like a living being, and that’s because it is. This time of year it’s exhaling, and preparing for a long sleep until it’s time to awake and push life back to the surface toward the returning sun. I walk outside on a Thursday evening and I hear kids who drive Volvo’s and BMW’s screaming about how drunk they are. I should be in a small village or in a cabin where instead of pushing nature aside you can embrace it. That’s what fall is for me, a time to embrace the waning moments warm weather and a myriad of colors before the onset of a usually harsh and unforgiving winter. Wilmington, North Carolina doesn’t know the first thing about that. Instead they’ll have Halloween costume parties at bars and see who can dress the sluttiest and win the $100 prize. I doubt anyone even thinks about the origins of Halloween, actually I know they don’t. There is no reverence for the natural world here. If it doesn’t pertain to the sandy shores of the beach then you might as well forget about it. Give me a gallon of fresh pressed apple cider, an Edward Abbey book and a day in forest behind my Grandmother’s old farm any day over the “luxurious lifestyle” of the beach. Anyway – to compensate I’ve made 4 loaves of pumpkin bread which I would post pictures of if I had my camera’s usb cord. The cider in the fridge is hard even though it was pasteurized and I have three store bough pumpkins with two growing on the vine on the backporch. So, all in all I guess it’s not that bad, I just picked one shithole of a city to call home.

9-5 day in and day out. Washing dishes, making food, all for the fattened customers strolling in from their gated communities. They are “well off,” according to their own versions of terrestrial wealth. I watch them scamper in and out all day like a party of ants scouring the sand for their next meal. This is no way to spend your days. If I was to die tomorrow would I want to know that my last day on earth, our home, was spent making food and washing the dishes of this arrogant, ignorant colony of people that moved here for “the good life.” I needed to get out. Away from the constant buzz of the highway and beeping horns of angry commuters trying to get to their destination faster than the next driver. It’s a race down the highways and roads. Who’s got the faster car, the bigger car, the more expensive car. I’d had it with the city. I threw my camera in my backpack and drove off. Not to some distant wilderness location, teeming with the sounds and silence of birds, crickets and water - no, rather to the quiet back roads. A place where the wind can blow without trying to overpower the constant hum of civilization and there is a stillness in the air contrary to the breeze. Out here on this backcountry road, I quiet my mind. I notice the egrets standing in the shallow brackish water, lilies floating on the wind blown surface, which ripples and bobs like a sheet hanging to dry in the summer breeze. Six feet away from me in the shallow, murky water is a large 8 foot alligator. I’m not afraid, but curious, of this beast which I’ve never been so close to. It has no fear of me, although it keeps a very watchful eye. The alligator must think I’m strange to sit there and stare at him trying to warm his body in the sun. And I think of how easily this animal, millions of years old, perfected by time, could take me to my grave in the time it would take my heart to jump in fear of it’s closing jaws. But no, this is not that scene. Instead, it’s just me and the alligator - staring, listening, learning. I’m no farther than a 20 minute drive from the place I see destroyed everyday. Plastic houses, stamped out in the most economical fashion. Nails pounded, rivets punched, screw drivers working as fast as the hands of the illegal immigrant can make it go. This, all in the name of progress. As I sit there I think that “progress” should mean the moving forward of something, the gradual improvement. Though, everyday I see the opposite, I see the plundering of resources for material wealth, with no thought put towards future generations, or the trees and animals displaced to provide a “home” for someone looking to retire or start a new life in the coast. This alligator, as simple as it may be, reminds me of our own imperfections and frailty. If it wanted it could make me its delicious dinner. I am no challenge to this animal, and maybe he senses that. There is something to be said for simplicity. This animal doesn’t want excess or to destroy the environment it lives in. As simple as it is, driven by million year old instincts, it understands that it’s home, it’s life is dependant on a healthy ecosystem. No clean water = no fish. No fish = no food. No food = death. As humans I wonder why we can’t understand that philosophy better. Because something is expensive or large does not make it better, especially if it comes at the cost of the ecosystem. Driving back “home” I am passed by at least 7 drivers. Apparently, 55mph just isn’t fast enough on a two lane road. No matter though, my mind was as still as the alligator, saving his energy to catch his next meal.

Quick post - Yesterday I rode my first century with my buddy Justin for an MS fundraiser. I’m not burnt to a full crisp anywhere outside of where my bike shorts or shirt was covering. Somehow I managed not to be sore, probably used up all the lactic acid in my legs just riding. I’m glad I did it, at least I feel some sort of sense of accomplishment. It wasn’t that it was ever really hard at one point, it’s that you sit on the bike all day and after awhile boredom and just plain being uncomfortable sets in, as you realize that you have 40 more miles to go. Anyway it’s done, over - good. I’d like to link a post by sirbikesalot here because I’m too tired/lazy to post. He makes a lot of good points, about the waning oil supply, alternative transportation, and the attitude it’s going to take if people want to change anything so here it is, give it a read and see how you can apply it to your own life. CLICK FOR LINK

The “Economic Growth Index” study gave an ‘F’ to Erie, Niagara, Orleans, Genesee, Allegany and Chautauqua counties, while Cattaraugus and Wyoming counties received a grade of ‘D.’

I completely feel for the folks back home who feel like they can’t get a break. However, when I look at the alternative, a economically thriving area such as Wilmington, North Carolina, I can only shudder at the consequences of a “thriving” economy. The problem seems to be that our economy works on growth. Stagnation is a cancer of the economy. The world we live in is not unlimited. We only have a limited amount of land, water, air and animal/plant life. If our economy aims to keep growing forever and ever there will come a point where there is nothing left to sell but the ruins of old condos and bottled air, presumably owned by Pepsi or Coke. You can preach about it all you want, but to some people it just won’t sink in until it’s too late. They won’t wake up until the last tree has been cut down for a gated development called something like “Long Gone Forest.” I still have a bit of hope people will stop being blind to it, and with the hope feel the responsibility to bring it to people’s attention. It’s the ones that are most blind and careless when it comes to protecting our world that we must give the most attention too. I’ve found more often than not it’s not that people don’t care, but rather they just don’t understand. It’s like when you tell someone of the genocide in Sudan, they might say, “oh that’s horrible” and then go back to watching Jeff Foxworthy’s new game show. But, if you could show them first hand the devastation, I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t try to contribute in some way to stopping it. People do care, they just have to much other junk in the way. Like my buddy over at Jackburnslives.com says, “it’s not the earth that’s in trouble, it’s us.” We’re only a blip on the timeline of earth. We may off it just as soon unless we wake up and start being proactive about protecting the earth and our resources. So today as I went around snapping photos that thought ran through my head and so did and old poem I had to write for class.

A lot can change in twenty years
even a simple cable repair man can see that much.
My view from the top of the telephone pole used
to be refreshing. A flat sand worn landscape
brimming with sea birds and evergreens.
Now plastic condos litter my view
from my crows nest of telephone wire.
They stand in the footprints
of stamped out copper roofed homes.
The four lane road down below hides
the old two lane “county 21.”
The same road that used to carry beat up chevy’s
now fills up with Mercedes and BMW’s.
Hell, you can’t even see the ocean
unless you’re standing on the shore!

They call it “progress”, I think not.
Long ago a man wrote, “the woods are lovely, dark and deep.”
So, with no longer to go before I sleep
I hope to dream of creeper vines reaching over concrete
of trees to shadow the shore
and gulls to roost in the apexes
of mansions long abandoned beside the sea.

Just returned from a short two days out in Uwharrie National Forest which is in the piedmont region of North Carolina. As is customary I leave this (shite) hole of a town as often as possible. If I had a faster car I’d go farther west. I left right after work Friday night. Unfortunately it took me over an hour to get across the bridge and onto the highway which is a total of maybe 5 miles. Gotta love Wilmington traffic, which I’m happy to contribute to as long as I’m leaving town. Anyway, I left later that I wanted because of that and therefore when I arrived at the Birkhead Mountain Wilderness Area it was dark. I planned on pitching a tent somewhere near the parking area. After I pulled in I got out and walked around. There was an old farmhouse there which is part of the wilderness area. It was spooky to say the least because the moon was giving everything a creepy glow. Finally after some drunks pulled into the parking area and left seeing my car, I decided it was safe to pitch the tent. Let’s just say it was way too hot to get a good nights rest and I got somewhere around 2 spotty hours of sleep.

I was up with the sun as is normal when sleeping outside. I brushed my teeth and washed my face with the water I had and made the plans for the day. Instead of hiking the 7 miles in the wilderness area trails, I decided to drive over to Morrow Mountain State Park which is fairly close. I drove to the top of Morrow Mountain and watched the sun burn off the valley fog. I was surprised how cool it felt in the morning. Somewhere around 3am and 5 am the temperature must have dropped a good 10-15 degrees. Maybe the fog has something to do with it, but it was cool enough to almost pass for an autumn morning in my delusional mind.

It didn’t last for long though. By 11 it was getting closer to the 99 degree high for the day…and no I didn’t type that wrong. Morrow mountain was full of cyclists and runners who tackle the hills in the park because they’re short and easy which makes it nice if you want a break. So after spitting my breakfast out(a big heaping mouthful of redman chew) I drove down to the waterfront and started hiking. I took a nice easy trail along the water out to the dam.

It was a very pretty walk. Full of skinks(NC lizards), birds I’d never seen and plenty of spiderwebs…oh and girls running cross country, the important thing is that there were girls running. I passed a water moccasin and a few squirrels along the way. There were also a few outcroppings of large boulders you could climb along the shore. By the time I got to the dam, which isn’t far, I had soaked through my t-shirt with sweat. The view from the top of the rocks near the dam was a really nice finish to the first trail.


You could see the water is definitely down from it’s usually height. They’ve had a burn advisory throughout the state because it’s been so hot and dry. That’s half the reason I didn’t go camping because I wouldn’t have been allowed to start a fire. The last thing I needed was Ranger Joe sneaking up on me and giving me a big old fine for having a campfire in the woods. Anyway It was a good trip.

Today was a good day. I woke up real early and head almost three hours south to Santee Coastal Reserve just north of Charleston, S.C. It used to be an old rice plantation that has since been turned over as a wildlife and land reserve. There are plenty of alligators out there that’s for sure. I had alot of trouble getting any real good shots of them because by the time you were close enough to film them, they’d make a huge splash and hide under the water. I saw some really big alligators, and some even bigger mosquitos and horseflies. That was the main reason I didn’t make a whole day out of the are. I put just about a quarter of the bottle of deet I had with me on and it did nothing to stop or even slow down the relentless attack by the bugs. This is an area I definitely want to go back to when it’s a bit cooler and the bugs aren’t as bad.

P.S. - I hate Myrtle Beach and the traffic it has. I’d also like to say that I saw way too many housing developments and signs like, “Twilight Forests - not just a place to live, but a lifestyle… 3 golf course, 2 tennis courts and plenty of cardboard cutout homes” for one day.

Tomorrow morning, well in about 5 hours I’m waking up to drive 2-3 hours south along the coast the the Santee Coastal Reserve and Francis Marion National Forest. I’ve been in Wilmington for over a week, and that’s just too long. Time to get out and do some hiking, biking and photography. Apparently there’s plenty of alligators down that way, which is what I’m aiming to get a bunch of photos and footage of. I’m taking the mountain bike too, because they’re hiking/biking trails and I can cover a lot more ground with the bike. Still haven’t decided if I’m going to stay down there overnight. If I do I can illegally camp in the reserve because I have no reservation, or I could spend money on a hotel. Most likely I’ll just spend all day and drive back and crash. Adios.

Man, there is a lot to say, but I don’t feel like writing a lot tonight so I’ll keep it short and semi-sweet. Today after I got out of my job of washing dishes at an Asian restaurant. Yes, a glamorous job for a post-graduate. That’s what you get for studying film and religion. Though I’d rather wash dishes the rest of my life than work in an office somewhere. Anyway, today as I was driving home there were a few things I noticed. I’m not sure if I was just being extra perceptional or if I’m usually just fried at the end of the day of washing dishes and prepping food for wasteful rich folks in the Mayfair shopping complex. Either way, the first thing I noticed where the Canadian geese that have been hanging out in the man made retention ponds in the Mayfair Shopping center that was only a short three years ago mostly long leaf pine forest. I often think about man’s impact on the land because I live in a city that is growing faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. Every month a new parcel of land is chopped up or auctioned off to a developer to “improve” as Edward Abbey once said about his stay out west. Across from the ponds that the Geese feed in are an apartment complex that costs more just because it’s in a shopping center, and the other one is adjacent to a roundabout and an area that’s going to be developed, the roads are there but no foundation or buildings put in yet. I always enjoy driving by the geese before and after work and trying to get which pond they’ll be in. Lately It’s been pretty easy guess which pond, because the one they usually hang out in is being worked on to fix some soil problem I guess. Either way it improves my day.

After work I had to deposit two checks into my bank account because I’m insanely broke. After I deposited my money that will fund my trip to the Santee Coastal Reserve in South Carolina this weekend, I walked back to my car. There was big ol’ truck with the windows down and the truck running. Now I can understand if they left in on with the windows up and the AC running. Although I don’t agree with it I can at least rationalize it. I myself never us AC. Not because I don’t like being cool, but because the AC is so hard on my engine that I just roll the windows down and sweat it out like a man. I can’t understand why a person who didn’t seem to need a big truck was letting it run. Apparently he’d rich because gas hasn’t been exactly cheap lately. Oh well, he can fund Saudi Arabia while claiming to be a patriot. The third thing I saw on the way home was a “homeless” man standing on the median with a sign that said, “veteran, hungry, thank you.” I have no problem giving my money to people who NEED it. Much like taxes, as long as they’re going to things I think are good causes and programs, please take as much as you need. However, where did this guy get the cardboard and marker to write on. If Chris McCandless could work at McDonalds and still live like a homeless person I have no doubt this guy could find work if he WANTED to. I understand a lot of homeless people have mental illness, but if you have the where with all to make the sign and beg for money, you can certainly get a job. Hell all the illegal mexicans I work with can do it, and they do a damn fine job. Certainly better than any American…, but that’s a whole other topic. My point being that I don’t have a point, I just wanted to share some of the thoughts that went through my head on the way home today. Hopefully after this weekend I’ll have some cool video clips from the Santee Coastal Reserve of some alligators and whatnot. I’ll post them when I get some time.

I want to post before I get uncontrollably drunk tonight. I was just doing a lot of thinking lately about Wilmington, as I always do. I just finished reading Jonathan Waterman’s “Where The Mountains Are Nameless” about drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve. Really, I’m on the “don’t destroy nature” kick. Ok, it’s not a kick, it’s a perpetual thought in my head, thanks to Wilmington, NC. I have never seen so a much destruction of natural habitat and trees in general. All for what? to line the pocketbooks of the politicians here and the developers. That’s all good and well, “economic progress” is “sustainable.” Ha, what a joke. There is nothing sustainable about our economy. It’s a cancer that’s spreading and in the end will kill us all, physically or for some of us just spiritually. You see I don’t find my religion in some phallic looking building or from an old book that doesn’t make any sense. I find it out in those very trees that we knock down to improve the economy. Initially, I was going to blog about how everyone back home complains about there being nothing to do. If they’d only open their eyes they’d see there’s a ton of stuff. However, it’s easy for me to say that living down at the beach. The grass is always greener on the other side. Back to my point though, Wilmington and my yearning to be one on one with nature or traveling over the country to see what’s left before it’s all torn down and made into a mini-mall or condominium(to create jobs!), will never coexist together. I’ve basically gotten to the point where I know that yes I want to have a successful film career, but not for the reasons most would. The money? yah, I’ll take it, then give it away. I want to have a voice, and making a form of media that everyone can see is one of the best ways to do that. So I hope I’m super successful as a director and producer so I can give a voice to the issues I feel are important. The rest of the Hollywood bullshit I will leave behind from day one. I guarantee you I’ll be the only millionaire driving and old Ford Truck or Jeep. So I’m conflicted on how to balance a film career which I know I will have to work VERY hard at to be successful, and my free spirit that just wants to hike and see as many wild places as I can before I hit the dirt. I’m in the process of figuring this out, but damn if it isn’t a conundrum. Anyway, I’ve conceded Wilmington to the developers. Sorry Cape Fear River, long leaf pines, marshes and loggerheads…it’s over. We’ve lost. There’s too many people that like golf, and the “good life” of stamped out houses and superficial values. Game Over.

Well I’ve been working everyday for the last two weeks so I haven’t had a lot of time off. I’m either at the gym, work, or editing my Alaska video. However, I didn’t have to work until noon today, so last night I drove up to New Bern to hang out with Justin and his parents who had come down from NY. New Bern is a great little town. One of the oldest in North Carolina, it’s fought to preserve the historical beauty and keep downtown full of small shops, art galleries and in general really cool places. I must note that it is the birthplace of Pepsi, which is my main source of life giving caffeine. It’s also the home to Nicholas Sparks, the author. Apparently he’s around town quite a bit. There is some new development going on there, but it’s away from the riverfront for the most part which keeps the city really beautiful. It’s also quiet. Justin and I went out to get a beer last night around 11 and couldn’t find any place that was open. We drove away from downtown a little bit and found this dive called “The Ice Cooler” which was about as redneck and awesome as you could get, but thanks to stupid alcohol laws down here you have to be a member to drink. We finally gave up and bought a six pack of “Mackeson XXX” at the Hairy Peter(Harris Teeter). This is one of the best beers I’ve had in a long long time. It’s like a Guinness, but has a different taste. It’s hard to describe, but definitely my go to “relaxing” beer now. Of course I’ll still buy the Schlitz for getting drunk. Back to my point though. I always thought I hated the coast because, well it’s flat, sandy and hot. I don’t think that’s true anymore. I’m always going to be a lover of the mountains, but the thing with the coast is that it’s not the geography, its what people have done to the geography. New Bern is only a little more than an hour north of Wilmington. They’ve preserved the waterfront and made it into a park instead of throwing up condos and businesses everywhere. It’s almost as if they take a little pride in they’re antiquated architecture and natural environment. Wilmington is just trashy, not as trashy as Jacksonville, NC, but trashy enough. It’s a plastic town, mostly full of plastic people all in a race to see who can get rich the fastest. They lose sight of important things, and instead focus on material goals which drain all meaning from life. Don’t get me wrong, money’s great, just not when it’s the motivating factor in your life. Basically I just want to let it be known, that I think there was a chance I could have liked Wilmington, but the fact that they don’t take advantage of preserving the natural environment around here and instead try to profit from it by stripping the land and building on every square inch really puts me off. What’s next? throwing all your trash into the ocean because the landfill land is too valuable to have trash on? I’m sure the turtles won’t mind, I hear they love plastic bags…which is a whole other blog entirely.

Today I took the bike out for nice cruise. I left at 7am, rode to my friend Justin’s apt, and off we went. We did about 50 miles total. Only 30 of them were together towards the end we went different routes because I had to ride into work and he was going home. About ten miles from work I got a phone call that they needed me in. Today was supposed to be my day off, and last night they told me I had to come in at noon. I got a phone call at 10. So after riding 50 miles my friend picked me and the bike up on his way to work and I went and worked 7 hours after a 50 miles ride. Nothing like washing dishes after a nice long ride…So, after I got out I was eager to enjoy what was supposed to be my day off. Justin and I drove down to Southport to get some seafood and get out of town for a few hours. It was a nice trip, but I’m extremely tired and feel like shit from riding and working. There was nice sunset photo op on the way back, so I forced Justin to turn around and let me grab it. It turned out alright but would have been much better about 2 minutes before I took it when we initially passed. That’s all I really gotta say. I’m tired and on my day off I’m probably just going to bed early.

Click To Play

Just started messing with the Alaska footage some more and put some small clips together to some music. Hopefully I can get start on the whole thing this week sometime…meanwhile check the video out.

I just returned from a few days out at Linville Gorge and Chimney Rock in the mountains of North Carolina. I needed it. I don’t know what it is about Southeast North Carolina, but I just can’t wait to get out of it. I’m really more of a mountain and freshwater guy than flatland and saltwater. Don’t know if that has much to do with it, but I’m sure it plays its part. Anyway I decided to get outta town on a whim the other day. I told my friend I was leaving early in the morning to drive out to the mountains. I had no real plan or even any idea where I wanted to go. So he said he’d come along. I had a party. We drove I-40 west until we saw signs for Linville Gorge where we pulled off and got a hotel room. When the southern lady at the desk saw two guys asking for a single room, she got “suspicious.” The single was just to cut down on the cost even though the room was still 70 bucks. The bed however was the biggest one I’d ever seen and was more than enough to accommodate us and possible a couple of homeless vagrants. After we got the room we drove out to the gorge and started hiking. At first we went to a very tourist filled area and just saw some scenic vistas along with kids trampling the ground in front of us. Soon after I got the photos I wanted from there we drove up to “Table Rock” and started hiking. You drive most of the way up the mountain, but still have a good 30 minute hike straight up after the parking area. That hike was well worth the effort, as the view rivaled some I’d seen in Alaska. The best part was nobody was to be seen. I could have stayed up there and camped out for the night. If I’d been by myself and not already gotten a hotel room I’m sure that’s what I’d have done. The solitude was pretty amazing. There were also little bowls carved out of the rock. Some were filled with water and some were dry. I came to the conclusion that over thousands of years these bowls were carved little by little by the rain they held. I don’t know if I’m right, but I’d like to think I am. After Table Rock, we went back down and to the hotel to change and grab some dinner. The lady at the hotel told us that the Brown Mountain Lights were nearby. I’ve heard about these lights ever since I was a young kid introduced to a haunted North Carolina book. I had to go being so close. So after dinner Justin and I drove out to where you were supposed to be able to see them. Of course, we saw nothing. Disappointed, but not deterred we stayed out there and looked at the stars for close to an hour. It was so dark and clear that I saw more stars than I’d seen in a long long time. It was well worth the effort even if the Brown Mountain Lights didn’t want to put on a show for us. Of course, it could have been that Justin was calling them names like “cowards” and pussies” because they wouldn’t show. I don’t know if going out to see what may or may not be imaginary lights or calling possibly fictitious lights names is worse. After that we went back to the hotel and promptly passed out. Today we woke early and drove down to Chimney Rock. On the way we stopped at a roadside gem mine and bought a bucket of dirt. The bucket unearthed some really cool gems. From there we headed to Chimney Rock where I was forced to face my fear of heights climbing on the side of cliff the entire time. It was beautiful but sometimes annoying because of all the people. Table Rock was by far the highlight of the trip, and had I known about it earlier I would have planned the trip to be a solo camping mission to the top, although the company was nice to have for the ride. Now I’m back in Wilmington, and watching Scott Coady’s films because if I’m helping the guy in October it’d probably be a good idea to see what he’s made already. Tomorrow I might take the kayak out for my first plunge into the water for the year. We’ll see though, I’ve never taken it out, don’t have a rack and don’t have a life preserver. Plus I don’t have health insurance. Safety first.

Today I went to Croatan National Forest. It’s about 2 hours north of Wilmington along the coast. I wanted to do some hiking so my friend came with me and we headed out early. I was pretty disappointed in the whole thing. Although, it was great to get out of Wilmington as it always is, the hiking wasn’t anything fulfilling. Instead we tramped our way through high brush along a lakeside and eventually into the long leaf pine forest. The forest was nice, shady, and quiet except for the birds and bloodsucking flies zipping by my ears. It’s that kind of experience I’ve figured that I require to stay sane down here. After Alaska, I was filled with this internal giddiness. Something that you couldn’t tell on the outside, but my insides were smiling whenever I thought of it. Being out there among the trees and animals, away from all the stuff that doesn’t matter was a religious experience in every sense of the word. It’s begun to fade a little bit, but I know how to deal with this place, and the traffic and Jesus lovers. It’s to get out into the primitive landscapes away from all of that. To be among the trees and water, the ticks and flies, being among the here and now. No deer or bear thinks about it’s investment portfolio. All they care about is getting the next meal and surviving the season. There’s something to be said for only concentrating on the essentials of life. So here I am stuck in the material world, craving my daily internet dose, all the while trying to cut ties with it all. There’s gotta be balance. I remember last year when I went 4 hours west of here to Hanging Rock State Park. It was just me and my camera and my trusty Jansport backpack I’ve had for 7 years. I climbed and exhausted myself on the hardest 12 miles of my life. It was awesome. Walking back to my car at the end of that day, feet sore, eyes weary and my face stinging from sweat and sun, I knew thats what I needed. I find myself searching for that every weekend now. To get out into the wilderness and push myself. Maybe I’ll kayak the Cape Fear River, or go looking for alligators in the estuaries. I don’t know for sure where its all going to lead, but I have a pretty good idea about the direction. Alaska brought me piece of mind that has managed to stay with me so far. With the mountains west of me, I seem to be called out there…only time will tell.

I’m back in Wilmington finally. My excitement to be back couldn’t even be described. Of course I’m kidding. Being back is really kind of just blah. I’m trying to harbor no ill will towards this place this time around. It’s been pretty easy just letting stuff that would normally piss me off slide by. On the other hand there’s just nothing here that captures my interest. Today I went mountain biking with my friend. There’s nothing to look at but sand and pine trees. It’s all flat, and quite frankly just boring. I guess that’s the best way to describe being back, boring. I’m trying to plan things to take up my time, kayak trips, bike riding, selling photos…etc. Back home or in Alaska I could walk to the river or hike up the hill/mountain down the road. Down here there doesn’t seem to be anything I want to do besides leave. 3 or 4 hours west gets you into some nice country where the foothills start, but from there eastward it’s pretty flat. I’ve been to some other areas around the coast and never had any problems with them. North Carolina really is a great place, but Wilmington and the surrounding area just doesn’t have the spirit and comfortable vibe the rest of the state does. Maybe I’m biased after three years of suffering from constant bombardment by rich, dumb blondes, huge SUV’s with only one occupant, and the widespread deforestation that gives way to the housing developments named “Silent Oaks” or ” Pinegrove Forest.” I think Alaska helped me deal with that stuff though. Before I’d just get fed up and not want to have anything to do with it. At least now I’m able to shake it off and try to be proactive about it. The Environmental film fest is slowly taking form, and I’m working on what to do to get the Waste Management people to pick up recyclables in our apt. complex. We’ll see how it all goes, one step at a time. This place does suck though. Give me some grizzly bears, moose and a heaping mountain range. Aight brah, I gotta go kick it at the beach…surfs up!

Well I’m back from Alaska. I’ve loaded all my photos from the trip onto www.flickr.com/photos/seancarr54 …from there just click the Alaska folder and you can see all of them. It was a beautiful and awe inspiring place in every sense of the world. So much natural beauty is hard to take in sometimes when you aren’t used to it. I saw moose, black bear, brown bear, golden eagle, bald eagle and even a few squirrels. There’s something about Alaska that appeals the the primitive side in me. It awakens the spirit inside that doesn’t need to feed off TV and technological junk. Instead it gets revitalized by a walk in the woods or an encounter with a bear or even the simple view of mountains that reach toward the sky that never sleeps. Alaska is a place of wonder and a place of discovery. I can’t imagine what the first settlers after the natives must have thought. If it was anything like what I thought it probably went a little something like, “holy shit.” The holy shit phase didn’t end until about a week into the trip when I started getting used to the scenery. Then, towards the last days of our trip we hiked out to echo bend on Eagle River and saw the most beautiful view I’ve seen yet. The combination of mountains and river got me good, it always does. They seem to go together well. Whether it’s towering mountains of rock, or rolling hills of dirt and sediment a river or lake always compliments the colossal natural structures well. Today I went for a brief hike/walk through the hills in the area. After Alaska I feel like I could run up and down the hills all day. Alaska taught me to be observant to the world around me though. I had lost that living in Wilmington, NC. So today when I walked through the woods I just took it real slow and listened and watched. I saw three deer, heard a hawk call out from way above me; saw bear scat; four tree stands, all of which I climbed. Last but not least I found a ton of those little red newts on my trail. It’s amazing what you can see if you slow down and take a look around.

I did alot of hiking today. It was a good day, spent outdoors for the most part. I saw a hawk, bald eagle and a black bear when I was hiking alone down by the Eagle River Nature Center. I was too busy staring at it to remember to take a photo. Anyway, I just wanted to post that Into The Wild now has a trailer online and I gotta say the movie looks pretty good as far as I can tell. If you haven’t read the book do so. Here’s the link to the trailer….CLICK

So here I am, back in Eagle River, Alaska. I’m about 20 minutes from downtown Anchorage and surround by mountains that rise so high towards the heavens it hurts your neck to look at them. I’m really starting to dread going back to the lower 48. It isn’t even so much that. Even in Anchorage you are getting back to the “mainstream.” Life in Denali and farther north was really something. I’ve never met more interesting people in my life, or good natured for that matter. Usually you think Alaska is a place where people come to get lost. They’ve had it with life as usual and Alaska is about as far away from life as usual as you can get. However, on occasion people find themselves here. I’m not saying I have, but this place, the mountains, the vast wilderness, the pace of life, has caused me to look deeper within than I ever have before. Maybe it’s the lack of daily communications junk that were fed. My t.v. watching has been kept to almost zero. I have a phone and it works, sometimes. I’ve been able to get onto the internet long enough to upload my photos. I’ve actually had to deal with people, face to face everyday. Thankfully, 9 out of 10 of them have been some of the most inviting and outgoing people I’ve ever met. I’ve said this in a previous post, but I think the mountains humble you. That is if you don’t see them as a potential for profit, like alot of people here. The resources in Alaska abound, and therefore people who would like to make money off them also abound. That’s just the way the world works, hopefully, if there are enough grizzly bears, the population of those profit minded people will be kept to a “healthy and sustainable level.” On the way back from Fairbanks to Eagle River, we stopped in Denali again and picked up some people for the trip south. They were 4 guys who had summited Denali. That itself isn’t a huge feat by climbing standards. However, the freedom and sense of purpose must soar with the elevation. I myself dont wan’t to climb anything that high, I’m girlishly afrad of heights(any feminists can kiss my butt, yes I said girlishly). Though, being in the mountains takes your spirit to places it’s never been. Suddenly though, it gets body slammed by a 800 pound sumo wrestler who after pushing your face into the dirt says, ” get a job you fucking hippy.” So it goes…I’m off to Wilmington to get a job for a year. Yaayy! I’ve learned that you don’t need much. People up here get by on a lot less because they’re resourceful and creative. Something most of the country lacks. Returning to a place where people drive huge SUVS a mile down the road to get groceries or a paper, or drive Mercerdes just for the status symbol, well that’s going to be a hard transition. I can only see myself getting more hardlined “hippy.” Not that I like hippies, because I don’t, but the usual way of the world just ain’t working for me anymore. I don’t know if I’ll get by from riding my bike more or starting a recycling center at the apt. complex, but somethings going to give. I have a feeling it’s going to be my temperment towards the less accepting. Ya, I know that’s a hypocritical statement, especially coming from me. I’ve learned a lot about myself in Alaska though, I’ve been able to deal with old things, start thinking about new things and overall just coming to a place in life that I really like. Will it stay after I leave? I doubt it. I’ll probably be bogged down in the same old miserable crap John Doe is, driving his kids from the housing development called “Willow Woods” to his kids soccer practice. I’ve started reading Into The Wild again too. Maybe Mccandles was a little out there, and ill prepared to take on the Alaskan wilderness, but his views on the world and his frustration with it I can easily relate too. Dude.

Today is our last day in the city of Fairbanks. It was also the last day we rented the car so we kicked around town as much as possible. We went to the ice museum, regular museum and the large animal research center which does research on musk oxen and Caribou. It was a pretty fun day but for the life of me I can’t get our time in Denali out of my head. Maybe it is the fact that Fairbanks compared to denali is like Steel Reserve compared to a fine Labatt Blue. Or maybe Denali was really that great. Being surrounded by mountains and somewhat isolated takes all the cares of the modern day right out of you. Internet and phone is nice to have, but when it doesn’t work you can’t fret you’re in the middle of some of the most beautiful country I’ve ever seen. There’s something haunting about the mountains there. Maybe it’s the light that constantly is above your head. Maybe it’s the vastness of the land or the sheer danger of it all. I’m not sure, but whatever it is I want more. I want that feeling again where the only thing you are worried about is when you are going to eat and if your farts are from the beer or the pizza. Seriously though, I’ve never seen anything like that place. I can only hope development doesn’t take the reigns and lead that into an eventual destiny of disneyland like attractions where children can ride moose for $10. It’s too special for that. If anyone had gotten off their tour buses maybe they would have noticed. I hope after I graduate from grad school I take a summer off to go work up there. Just bum around and hike and hang out with good people. Cynical as I am, I can’t really say anything bad about the people there. Everyone was really laid back and friendly. You don’t see that everyday. I think Denali has that effect on everybody. It’s so humbling being in the presence of something that great you realized that you are just a speck on the dot, a blip on the radar, if at all. In a week I have to return to Wilmington, NC. Once there I need to find a job for a year until grad school, and that is assuming that I get in. On the other hand there’s something inside me that makes we want to drop everything empty my bank account and move up here. Maybe go even farther north past the Brooks Range. Just me and my camera and a case of beer(for emergencies). I wish I had more time to properly articulate how I feel, but under the choppy internet and stressful days in Fairbanks this is all I can seem to muster up.

Well Jeremy and I have been in Fairbanks now for 2 days. It is not a very nice city. There’s alot of crime and it’s really run down. So after leaving our hippy commune like hostel in the heart of Denali country this is like a rude awakening. We tried to get over it though and rented a car for two days so we could get around easy and not be stuck in the city entirely. Today we went to Chena hot springs which is a 60 mile road that dead ends at a hotsprings resort. It wasn’t that great and you had to pay to get in the over touristy pool so we didn’t stay. However, out there we met a man who lives in the bush about 20 miles in by a river. He uses a dogsled to get around and lives in a tent all year including winter which can get up to 50 below. Apparently, this man has a car he uses to get around and it’s the most photographed car in Alaska. On top of that he was in the movie White Fang. We also saw a bunch of moose out there which are all on my flickr account. We went to an old gold dredge today too. I panned for gold and got approximately twenty dollars worth. Overall it was a pretty good day but it still doesn’t compare to where we were in Denali. That place had such a good vibe and you’d walk out your front door and look straight up into the mountains. In Fairbanks you walk outside and don’t see anything of the sort. The last night we were in Denali I met some guys who do the flying tours around there. One of them owned his own plane and told me that they flew over Chris Mccandles bus to find a good place to hike to it. If you don’t know who that is read the book Into The Wild. Sean Penn was up right where we were last year filming for the movie version of the book. Apparently, the film and Sean Penn still owe the bar we frequented acrossed the road over 10 grand. To hear first hand knowledge about not only the place where it took place but where the film was shot was a nice surprise because I had no idea until I started talking witht the locals. Tomorrow Jeremy and I are heading into Fairbanks to see the museum and such but like I’ve said we already spent time in Denali so it’s all downhill from here.

Today we went into Denali National Park. Instead of doing the usual tourist trap stuff we decided to rent bikes and go straight for it. I noticed afterward that the buses that take you deep into the park to see the wildlife were full of old, southern fat people. I don’t know how to explain this phenomenon, but it was perplexing nonetheless. Jeremy and I rented the bikes for 40 bucks for the whole day. I figured it would be an easy ride though the mountains and we’d see a ton of wildlife. Well, it turned out that for 20 miles from the start of the only road goes uphill. Literally, the whole way was uphill. Needless to say we walked a good portion of the Tour De Denali. We didn’t see any animals on our bike ride either except some really fat rabbits. When we got back to the main lodge there was a mother moose walking through the brush with her two kids. All of the fat, southerners I referenced couldn’t contain themselves and had to rush over towards the moose at the dismay of the lodge staff who specifically advised them not to. Apparently, a moose, possibly that very one has been charging campers. It’s kind of funny. Well anyway like I said the ride was completely uphill. So, the ride back was alot more fun than the ride in. Downhill the whole way. So I took my $3000 video camera and grabbed it in one hand and held on to my handle bar with the other. Was this a smart decision? No, probably not, but it was pretty fun and the footage is pretty sweet. The fact that I sang stupid songs in an Irish accent the majority of the way down hill probably had something to do with it. Tomorrow we head for Fairbanks. Although I love the hostel and all the people, especially Steve the pirate, it will be good to see some civilization. We’ve basically been keeping the bar acrossed the street in business and hanging out in the hostel common room chatting with all the fellow travelers for almost every country and state you could think of. It’s been a really good experience so far. Although, Jeremy complains because he says my farts are rancid. I really can’t argue with him.

We’ve been kicking around outside Denali at our hostel mostly. Last night we went across the street to the pub. Beer is expensive but nevertheless we cowboyed up and started a tab. It was a pretty good time. We met people from all over, Poland, Wales and even Alaska. The bartender/owner/kid our age was real cool. He started it up with his own money even though his family owns all the cabins and restaurants in the area, which is not very big. He was fresh out of college too I think. Real cool guy that gave us free leather beer coasters and keychains, hats etc. Today we went on a flight tour of Mount Denali, or Mckinnley as most people know it. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. The sheer enormity of it is hard to take in, or describe for that matter. We were flying over mountains and tundra for about 20 minutes which were still pretty tall. Then out of no where this huge white, pointed mass came out of the clouds and into view. From far it was obviously the largest mountain around, but still not that impressive. Then I looked at the GPS and we were still a good 20 miles from it. When we had actually flown pretty close to the mountain it was humbling. Something that big can have that effect, you feel completely insignificant. Alaska has that effect though. Were it not for the internet I would have no idea of wars going on overseas or troubles here in America. You are completely cut off at times, and it makes you think what it would have been like 50 years ago up here. This land is so vast and open it’s just impossible to imagine. I look at a map after driving for 4 hours and I’ve only cover the distance of maby the first knuckle of my pointer finger. Anyway, don’t want to get too “filisofikal,” but it is absolutely unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. The best part about it is that everyone we’ve met has been SUPER friendly. I don’t know if it’s just a run of luck or if Alaska makes people like that, but it’d be nice if it was like that everywhere. Nothing but wilderness and friendly people, and moose shit - cause there’s a ton. Ok this here’s Mooseturd McGee signing off. See ya in Fairbanks!

I write this from a hostel at the edge of Denali, not a bad view. We left Anchorage today and took a bus at 7am up to just a couple miles shy of the main Denali park entrance. I’ts absolutely beautiful up here. Everywhere you look its nothing but mountains so high you have to strain your neck to look at and pine trees that stretch on and on like it was out of a movie. I saw my first moose yesterday. I got a photo or two of it before it wandered back off into the woods. I also saw a bald eagle towards the top of the mountain I hiked with Jeremy, Conrad and Tristen. The “walk” Conrad told us about wasn’t just a walk by the way it was a 6000 foot mountain with no clear path. There was nothing but elders and long grass the entire time. It was a hard hike for me and Jeremy, Conrad and Tristen didn’t seem to mind it too much. I don’t think Conrad even got out of breath actually and for the slope of the climb that’s pretty amazing. He is old enough to be my grandfather. Anyway towards the top I got scared because I’m deathly afraid of heights so we turned back and headed down the mountain. We were in my defense, pretty high up. You can see all the photos on my flickr page. This morning we woke up and Conrad was nice enough to drive us down to Anchorage to the bus stop. We got on board a shuttle bus with a trailer hitch that had a large cargo trailer attached for all our bags and headed up north to Denali. The hostel is really cool. The bunk we have is pretty small but enough to accomodate us. There is a large fire pit and a large common area with wireless internet and kitchen/bathroom/shower etc. It’s right by a creek too which is really nice to have as a view. The hostel office is also a store. They sell groceries and what not. Almost all of it is organic foods which is kinda neat, kinda. Anyway my computer battery is pretty low and I have to take a dump. Catch ya later!