I work in the kitchen of a restaurant. Subsequently I work with all Mexicans. Thus, I am forced to listen to their cha cha cha, three amigo’s crap they call music. Lately to solve that problem I’ve been bring in in my mp3 player that has an FM receiver. I listen to a lot of conservative talk radio because quite frankly the music they play on the radio today is just awful. So everyday I hear stories with a “conservative” slant. The more I listen to it, the more I’m drawn away from my tradition thinking that I’m a democrat. I fall somewhere between a democrat and a republican, but don’t really have a set place. I think small government is good, but once you turn the government over to people there’s room for plenty of abuse and environmental destruction which is where I think having the federal government step in is crucial. On the other hand big government lends itself to the same abuses and corruption. It’s really a hard choice because I believe 90% of the people that want to get into politics are looking to benefit from or gain some kind of power. So where do I stand politically? I’d have to say different on every issue. i don’t think there is one blanket philosophy, or party I can agree with. The republicans parade around claiming they’re right and the democrats are wrong. The democrats parade around about the evils of the republicans. They’re both right on some issues. No party has a monopoly on good choice and intentions. Personally, I’d like to see an end to the strongholds of the two party system. Yes we have others like the green party and libertarian, but lets be honest when they say something it’s like a fart in the wind, except if their last name is Nader. In the end, I think everyone should have equal opportunity to health care, but if you can afford it you should have to pay for it. I do believe in taxes, but think they’re often wasted on silly programs and earmarks are often a waste of that money. We shouldn’t be having preemptive wars. If we’re going to liberate one country because of a bad leader, then there’s a lot more work to be done. It’s the unfortunate reality that there are many bad governments out there like Sudan and North Korea and Communist China. I’ll say it, I hate communism because it doesn’t let the people have a voice, instead their voice is given to them by the propaganda department. I believe the environment is something we should all care about even if it does mean acknowledging global warming is enhanced by man’s impact on the world. People do have the right to carry guns, but they also have a right not to be uneducated idiots who go about shooting other people. Abortion is an ugly thing, but it’s still the woman’s choice…as of now. Illegal immigrants fill the cheap labor that drives this economy. If you want your stuff cheap, then suck it up and pay the hard working little bastards, but enforce the laws in place and stop wasting time talking about a huge border fence, because those illegals will be the ones building it. I don’t think you should need millions of dollars to run for president. If you have the experience and the right ideas, any citizen who can’t suck down the lobbyists money should be able to run. Radical Islam sucks my dick and I don’t care if that offends you or your religion, because this is America, and that’s just how we roll. On a philosophical ground the death penalty just doesn’t make sense, although sometime people just need killin’. Americans should learn to curb their appetite for all things cheap and shiny. This doesn’t mean the government should force us to reduce, instead we should realized that we make a huge impact on the world and environment and can better it by reducing our consumption. Sometimes a just action is an illegal action and finally, no one, especially not some Home Owners Association will tell me how my yard should look. Peace I’m out!

As some of you know I’m spearheading the first annual “Cape Fear International Environmental Film Festival.” It’s a long name I know. The point of the film festival is to bring awareness to global and local environmental issues through different media outlets such as photography, poetry, and mainly film. This will be happening next spring through UNCW’s facilities, if all goes as planned. Well, today I met with UNCW’s film dept. chair, Dr. Buttino. He finally gave me the go ahead even though nothing is final until it gets approved through the school. Now I’ve got to meet with a group of academic advisers to lay out the blue print for the festival. This way, Dr. Buttino can take the semi-concrete plan over to his friends in the Environmental Science departments and see if they want to get on board. In the end I’m hoping the school will sponsor it, and with help from the students and faculty it could become something really big for the area. More importantly I hope it just gets the message out there. Anyway I’m open to taking suggestions or ideas for the festival. So if you live in the area or just have an idea, feel free to leave a comment of email me at seancarr54@yahoo.com. Thanks.

My grandpa once asked me why I don’t like southern girls. Well, gramps, here’s your answer. I hope this explains it all. How long can America go on producing shit for brains like her? I’d say she’s hot, but the mere fact that shes that dumb takes all hotness away.

….can’t wait until the regular season starts.

Just returned from a short two days out in Uwharrie National Forest which is in the piedmont region of North Carolina. As is customary I leave this (shite) hole of a town as often as possible. If I had a faster car I’d go farther west. I left right after work Friday night. Unfortunately it took me over an hour to get across the bridge and onto the highway which is a total of maybe 5 miles. Gotta love Wilmington traffic, which I’m happy to contribute to as long as I’m leaving town. Anyway, I left later that I wanted because of that and therefore when I arrived at the Birkhead Mountain Wilderness Area it was dark. I planned on pitching a tent somewhere near the parking area. After I pulled in I got out and walked around. There was an old farmhouse there which is part of the wilderness area. It was spooky to say the least because the moon was giving everything a creepy glow. Finally after some drunks pulled into the parking area and left seeing my car, I decided it was safe to pitch the tent. Let’s just say it was way too hot to get a good nights rest and I got somewhere around 2 spotty hours of sleep.

I was up with the sun as is normal when sleeping outside. I brushed my teeth and washed my face with the water I had and made the plans for the day. Instead of hiking the 7 miles in the wilderness area trails, I decided to drive over to Morrow Mountain State Park which is fairly close. I drove to the top of Morrow Mountain and watched the sun burn off the valley fog. I was surprised how cool it felt in the morning. Somewhere around 3am and 5 am the temperature must have dropped a good 10-15 degrees. Maybe the fog has something to do with it, but it was cool enough to almost pass for an autumn morning in my delusional mind.

It didn’t last for long though. By 11 it was getting closer to the 99 degree high for the day…and no I didn’t type that wrong. Morrow mountain was full of cyclists and runners who tackle the hills in the park because they’re short and easy which makes it nice if you want a break. So after spitting my breakfast out(a big heaping mouthful of redman chew) I drove down to the waterfront and started hiking. I took a nice easy trail along the water out to the dam.

It was a very pretty walk. Full of skinks(NC lizards), birds I’d never seen and plenty of spiderwebs…oh and girls running cross country, the important thing is that there were girls running. I passed a water moccasin and a few squirrels along the way. There were also a few outcroppings of large boulders you could climb along the shore. By the time I got to the dam, which isn’t far, I had soaked through my t-shirt with sweat. The view from the top of the rocks near the dam was a really nice finish to the first trail.


You could see the water is definitely down from it’s usually height. They’ve had a burn advisory throughout the state because it’s been so hot and dry. That’s half the reason I didn’t go camping because I wouldn’t have been allowed to start a fire. The last thing I needed was Ranger Joe sneaking up on me and giving me a big old fine for having a campfire in the woods. Anyway It was a good trip.

Disclaimer: This is an emotional statement, not a logical one.

This isn’t a “we went into Iraq and now it’s bad” thing, it isn’t a “Iraq was bad under Saddam” thing. It’s a “Arabs are a bunch of violent fuckers.” Not all of them, of course we administer our violence from f-16’s. However, There’s a far cry from that and dragging a 5 year old boy out of his home and lighting him on fire. Anytime you do that to a child, it’s reprehensible. They aren’t even able to defend themselves. Too bad the kid didn’t pull out a 44 mag and blow their heads off. Anyway this just got me pissed and thinking about what a shithole Iraq was/has become. Any way to get out? Sure! tell the Arabs if they don’t stop killing each other and throwing around their crazy extremist Islam shit, we’ll blow them out of existence. We’ll make the Near East our “proving grounds.”Seriously, Let every country know that unless they can get along, we’re going to drop 10 nukes over there. END OF STORY.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayoflife/08/21/reading.ap/index.html

…apparently Americans aren’t reading books. WHY ARE WE SO STUPID??

…as Henry Rollins said, “you’re not much of a reader? well I’m not much of a dinner buyer”(paraphrased).

So here I am a month or two away from the grad school application deadline and I’m drinking an ice cold Keystone light watching the daily show. I don’t want to go back to fucking school. Lets face it, I already owe 80g’s for undergrad. I couldn’t even afford grad school if I wanted. The second factor is that it’s film. Film’s one of those things that a degree is really completely optional. Grad school does allow you to make a short film and if directing is what you want to do, it might be a good option, but shit, I couldn’t do three more years of school. There’s too much out there to see and learn. Too many books to read, and places to travel. I don’t care if I’m making 2 bucks an hour, as long as I’m on the road, making an impact with film in some fashion, I’ll be happy. The money I could really use, but I don’t want a bunch. I’ve already decided that if I ever do make a ton of money by being some hotshot director, I’m going to give it away(except for living expenses of course) to good causes and people that need it. That’s the problem with today’s society. Instead of finding something they love, they try to find something they don’t hate and can make a lot of money at. So lets wrap this brief rant up. Point being I’m trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life and still be able to pay the bills. If it was up to me I’d probably go bum around the country for a bit then travel around the world being a penniless bum, a happy one at that. Instead I’ve got an opportunity to help change the world for the better, using not only my sweet boy scout skills, like knot tying, but also the medium of film and photography. I say less X-men, more Darfur. Serious issues really need to be brought to the table at this time in America’s history, because I think we’re slowly losing the values we once had. Hard work, conservation, ingenuity, respect, it’s all being tossed out the window and outsourced overseas so we can save a few bucks. We’ve always been a consumer society, over a hundred years ago it was just land out west and animal pelts. If you don’t believe me ask the Native Americans. Today, however, our appetite is growing so large I don’t believe we can sustain the current rate of growth and consumption. Somehow, someway Americans need to learn to curb their appetite. We might be at a buffet, but imagine it’s one where the kitchen doesn’t bring out new food. But, yah, like I was saying, I’ll probably apply to grad school, but I only see it being a huge waste of time and money. Besides, I’ve had enough of dumb, rich college kids drinking their young years away like idiots. As the cab driver in Italy said, “Drink better, drink less.” (that’s why I’m drinking a keystone…it’s the high quality I crave).

Just messing around with FCP and some photos from home, Italia, Alaska, and the southland. The song is by Tom Russell who’s going to be on Letterman tonight. He’s the man. Like I said, I just am messing around so I don’t want to hear any suggestions or critiques. If you do say something, I will tell Michael Vick where your dog lives.

http://www.repamerica.org/….I had no idea such a thing existed. Republicans that acknowledge global warming? Wow. Cheers.

Where the hell did the travel channel go? It’s always been channel 72 on my service and now channel 72 is some bullshit station with nothing but crap, called “noggin.” I want my travel channel back. For christ sake all I watch is the news, discovery, travel channel and animal planet. Take one away and you’re seriously inhibiting my viewing pleasure. Fuckers, I’m calling them tomorrow to find out about this.

UPDATE: So I call Time Warner today and find out what happened. Apparently Travel Channel has gone digital now so it’s no longer on the analog services, which is what I get in the extended cable package. If I want to watch travel channel I have to update my service and get a box to include the digital channels. All this apparently because of some FCC mandate which is slowly forcing all channels go to digital. Bullshit!

Figuring out all my programs that came with Final Cut Pro. I’m too impatient to read the manual so I’m figuring it out as I go. This is my LiveType intro for all my stuff that I just figured out last night. yay for me.

Today was a good day. I woke up real early and head almost three hours south to Santee Coastal Reserve just north of Charleston, S.C. It used to be an old rice plantation that has since been turned over as a wildlife and land reserve. There are plenty of alligators out there that’s for sure. I had alot of trouble getting any real good shots of them because by the time you were close enough to film them, they’d make a huge splash and hide under the water. I saw some really big alligators, and some even bigger mosquitos and horseflies. That was the main reason I didn’t make a whole day out of the are. I put just about a quarter of the bottle of deet I had with me on and it did nothing to stop or even slow down the relentless attack by the bugs. This is an area I definitely want to go back to when it’s a bit cooler and the bugs aren’t as bad.

P.S. - I hate Myrtle Beach and the traffic it has. I’d also like to say that I saw way too many housing developments and signs like, “Twilight Forests - not just a place to live, but a lifestyle… 3 golf course, 2 tennis courts and plenty of cardboard cutout homes” for one day.

Tomorrow morning, well in about 5 hours I’m waking up to drive 2-3 hours south along the coast the the Santee Coastal Reserve and Francis Marion National Forest. I’ve been in Wilmington for over a week, and that’s just too long. Time to get out and do some hiking, biking and photography. Apparently there’s plenty of alligators down that way, which is what I’m aiming to get a bunch of photos and footage of. I’m taking the mountain bike too, because they’re hiking/biking trails and I can cover a lot more ground with the bike. Still haven’t decided if I’m going to stay down there overnight. If I do I can illegally camp in the reserve because I have no reservation, or I could spend money on a hotel. Most likely I’ll just spend all day and drive back and crash. Adios.

Man, there is a lot to say, but I don’t feel like writing a lot tonight so I’ll keep it short and semi-sweet. Today after I got out of my job of washing dishes at an Asian restaurant. Yes, a glamorous job for a post-graduate. That’s what you get for studying film and religion. Though I’d rather wash dishes the rest of my life than work in an office somewhere. Anyway, today as I was driving home there were a few things I noticed. I’m not sure if I was just being extra perceptional or if I’m usually just fried at the end of the day of washing dishes and prepping food for wasteful rich folks in the Mayfair shopping complex. Either way, the first thing I noticed where the Canadian geese that have been hanging out in the man made retention ponds in the Mayfair Shopping center that was only a short three years ago mostly long leaf pine forest. I often think about man’s impact on the land because I live in a city that is growing faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. Every month a new parcel of land is chopped up or auctioned off to a developer to “improve” as Edward Abbey once said about his stay out west. Across from the ponds that the Geese feed in are an apartment complex that costs more just because it’s in a shopping center, and the other one is adjacent to a roundabout and an area that’s going to be developed, the roads are there but no foundation or buildings put in yet. I always enjoy driving by the geese before and after work and trying to get which pond they’ll be in. Lately It’s been pretty easy guess which pond, because the one they usually hang out in is being worked on to fix some soil problem I guess. Either way it improves my day.

After work I had to deposit two checks into my bank account because I’m insanely broke. After I deposited my money that will fund my trip to the Santee Coastal Reserve in South Carolina this weekend, I walked back to my car. There was big ol’ truck with the windows down and the truck running. Now I can understand if they left in on with the windows up and the AC running. Although I don’t agree with it I can at least rationalize it. I myself never us AC. Not because I don’t like being cool, but because the AC is so hard on my engine that I just roll the windows down and sweat it out like a man. I can’t understand why a person who didn’t seem to need a big truck was letting it run. Apparently he’d rich because gas hasn’t been exactly cheap lately. Oh well, he can fund Saudi Arabia while claiming to be a patriot. The third thing I saw on the way home was a “homeless” man standing on the median with a sign that said, “veteran, hungry, thank you.” I have no problem giving my money to people who NEED it. Much like taxes, as long as they’re going to things I think are good causes and programs, please take as much as you need. However, where did this guy get the cardboard and marker to write on. If Chris McCandless could work at McDonalds and still live like a homeless person I have no doubt this guy could find work if he WANTED to. I understand a lot of homeless people have mental illness, but if you have the where with all to make the sign and beg for money, you can certainly get a job. Hell all the illegal mexicans I work with can do it, and they do a damn fine job. Certainly better than any American…, but that’s a whole other topic. My point being that I don’t have a point, I just wanted to share some of the thoughts that went through my head on the way home today. Hopefully after this weekend I’ll have some cool video clips from the Santee Coastal Reserve of some alligators and whatnot. I’ll post them when I get some time.

My Buddy Mike emailed this to me, and i must say I agree with it quite a bit and wanted to share it with anyone who’s reading this.

I grew up in Australia. Australian men generally accept masculinity far better than American men, and I understand why this is. In every country on earth where boys play, there is a ritual of selecting members of each team, whether the game is soccer, cricket, football, baseball, kickball, mammoth-hunting, what have you. Most boys, at some time, have experienced the humiliation of being picked last, and it hurts. Even being picked second-last is much more tolerable than being picked last. It hurts— what is important, and culturally distinct, is how the boy deals with that pain and humiliation, when he’s the one picked last.

In Australia, boys strive to be an asset to the team that picks them. They actually care more about how their team does than how they feel. This isn’t ego annihilation, and it’s not fascism. While playing the game, the game is what’s important, not one’s own petty issues. If a boy can table his own issues sufficiently to make a good catch, or kick a goal, he’ll get picked sooner next time. He knows this. It’s a question of priorities: the team wants to win, and they will pick those kids who will make it more likely that their team will win. How each individual feels during this process is irrelevant to the overall goal. Be dependable, be an asset to the team, and the rest of the team will take care of you.

In Australia, there is the concept of mates. The word loosely translates as “friend”, but the truth is that Americans lack the concept completely. Your mate has your back, and you have his. Your mates help define you, and accept you unconditionally. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. It’s not easy to get in. When I was nine, I had a kid who used to annoy me mercilessly on the playground. One day, I had had enough of his picking on me, and I knocked him over with a punch. He got up, shook himself off, and shook my hand. “We’re having a party this weekend. Here’s where it is.”

I was still really angry, and I didn’t immediately understand what he was doing. He wanted to know that I would stick up for myself when provoked. He needed to know if, after he was my mate, I’d stand up for him. Once he found out that I’d stand up for myself, I was in. At that party, everyone there treated me like a mate, and I felt more included than I ever did before, and I never got selected last for any game again at that school.

American boys don’t have this. The best have a much weaker version of this, but the commitment is conditional and halting, the bonds constantly tested by vicious games of conformity and obedience. Maybe men at war have the real thing, but I have no experience of this. Coming back to the USA, I had to teach my male friends to be mates, and it never came naturally to any of my new friends. I have American mates now, some of whom I’ve been friends with for twenty years, but it took an enormous amount of work, and included really rocky periods, and a lot of struggle. New people I meet, especially younger people, have no understanding of what it means to be a mate. Friendships, especially among young people, are temporary, fleeting, strategic. They exist in order to jockey for social position. American men seem treacherous, insecure, and ungrounded in comparison to Aussie men. It’s killing us as a society. It’s one of the great tragedies of our time.

When an American boy gets picked last at a game on the playground, he gives up on ever being selected by the other boys, except last. He retreats into self-pity and misanthropy. This is encouraged by the adults, especially his parents, doubly especially when his dad made the same choices about being picked last himself. This boy tries to create a new playing field where he is the top of the selection. Because he knows he cannot compete on the playing field, he tries to compete in intellectual pursuits, or in a fantasy world, or in fandom. He collects comic books, or plays Dungeons & Dragons, or plays video games. Maybe he learns science, or literature, or art, or music. It never occurs to him to strive to improve himself, to make himself an asset to the team that might choose him. It never occurs to him that a drama is unfolding on a level bigger than that of his individual ego.

When adolescence hits, this boy tries to be cool. He creates a new pecking order based around musical taste, or fashion, or obscure knowledge. He tries out for the school play, or joins the debate team, or starts a band, or joins the school’s literary magazine, and tries to win approval through his creativity and intelligence. There is nothing inherently wrong with seeking approval through these channels, but the boy still has a chip on his shoulder about rejection. He strives to create not merely a new selection where he is on top, but a new selection where the kids who are successful at the old games are rejected here. He seeks to be even crueler than he thinks those other kids are— to cut them down before they can hurt him again. He doesn’t realize that being rejected from the alternative he has just created doesn’t hurt at all, really. His ego depends upon being top of some pecking order, even an imaginary one, and he will viciously defend his new status, especially by being cruel to those who are lower down on his new pecking order. He becomes an asshole, but it’s everyone else’s fault but his.

Ultimately, this is what it means to be cool, to be indie, to be avant-garde, to be hip. As a young punk rocker, I was saved from this insanity because I grew up in a small town where weirdos got their asses beat. In order to be weird, you had to band together and watch each other’s backs. We had to trust each other in a fight, or we’d all get stomped. It was ugly, it was nasty, and it was exhausting, but at the end of the day, you really knew who your friends were. A realistic selection sprung up based on whether you were worth saving when everyone got jumped by rednecks. You sized up new potential friends for their value in dragging you out from under a half dozen pairs of steel-toed Doc Martins when the Nazi skinheads broke up your hardcore show. (I like traditional skinheads, but the Nazi skins suck ass). When the bored, redneck small-town cops harassed us for being weird, you needed to know your friends had your back when you split up and ran.

The point is that every boy and every man needs to know his friends chose him. It’s hard-wired into our brains. We need to know that we were worth picking, that we’re valued for what we contribute to the people around us. We need it in our jobs, in our friendships, and in our relationships. Those boys and men who never get chosen, who never become the people anyone would want on their side, are damaged goods. They’re not really cool, they’re undeveloped. No tattoo or piercing, no leather jacket or pair of glasses, no boots or records or novels or comic books or mp3s or posters or t-shirts; no commodity of any kind is going to make a pair of balls occur where they wouldn’t anyway.

We live in an advertising culture where we are constantly told that the only thing that stands between our current state and wholeness is a particular commodity. It’s the central lie of our culture, and the people who hate mainstream culture the most seem to cling to this lie the most intensely. Notice how many “alternative” people define their non-conformity by how readily they conform to an alternate standard? How they buy objects that articulate their rebellion for them? It has become so ingrained in our culture that the current crop of teenagers makes no distinction between consumption and expression. They are frustrated that consumption alienates them from their own feelings and desires, but they express that frustration by consuming more commodities. It’s a vicious circle. Let go. Quit being cool.

2 Comments

Alright, now go and say “Global warming and the environmental crisis is a big liberal hoax.” That’s when I go, “Alright douchebag, go fuck yourself.” Point and case. No reason to argue with people, they’ll either wisen up and stop being selfish bastards or they wont and their children will suffer the consequences for their ignorance and greed. Sad, dismal, but true. Have a great day ; )

Tonight Justin and me went out a quick little 25 mile bike ride out to blue clay road and beyond. It was a great ride. We left went the sun was just starting to go down and reaped the benefits of not sweating until we turned into raisins. The ride took us out into the less developed outskirts of Wilmington. We rode past pastures full of wilting corn, fields of wild grass and tall “weeds.” The further we went the more the air let go of the city. The exhaust, smell of dryers pumping out moist air from the sides of homes, and the sounds of cars, planes and white noise generated from the city faded away with every pump of my pedals. In front of my wheel was the smells of home, summer grass and a fresh breeze carrying the cooling air from the forest. One road we turned down was full of farms and small homes, most of which has large gardens. This was my type of street. It led us to the county park which has a disc golf course, which I think is absolutely fucking awesome. Anyway it was a good ride, definitely my new favorite route around here. It’s hard to get in long rides when you don’t have much free time, but with this one it’s quick, easy and a very pretty ride. Oh and I can’t leave without saying one of my favorite corn fields out there is slated for “commercial development.” Most of the land out there is, unfortunately. At least they’re planning on putting in bike lanes on the road when they do develop it out. On the other hand, I won’t want to ride it when it’s developed. Hopefully though, I won’t be here to see the change.

Alright, so I drank last night and am running on 4 hours sleep. What better to do than mess around on the Dept. of the Interior’s website. Long known for slutting out the land and being headed by people who are more beaurocrats than scientists, I found it interestings when I did a little research. One title caught my eye, the “Healthy Forests Restoration Act of 2003.” I read the Dept of the Interior’s site about how it would get rid of the danger posed from too densley populated forests which were a hazard to people and natural fuel supplies if they went up in flames. This is because long ago the forests were sparser, and now that they are more dense, probably from logging, this is apparently a problem. Well it didn’t take me long to find out some nifty stuff about this act(amazing how easy the internet makes everything). This bill essentially allows for —

* Forest Service to conduct large-scale, environmentally damaging logging projects without considering any alternatives or their relative environmental impacts;
* eliminate the statutory right of citizens to appeal Forest Service logging projects;
* impose unprecedented limitations on judicial review and give lawsuits challenging Forest Service projects priority over virtually all other civil and criminal litigation.

oh and this….

and perhaps most outrageous, the bill would require judges to “give deference” to the agencies’ determination that the short-term environmental harms of a project are “outweighed by the public interest in avoiding long-term harm to the ecosystem.” Sec. 107(2). In other words, even if the evidence presented to a court clearly demonstrates that a project would cause immediate and substantial harm to water quality or endangered species, a judge would have to defer to the agencies’ claims of long-term benefit. This would be a terrible precedent undermining the impartiality of the judicial system.

The trouble always seems to be in the fine print. The sad part about this whole affair is that it isn’t just bills dealing with the environment. All our bills are earmarked to hell, to fatten the politician’s and their buddies pocketbooks and keep them getting re-elected by their constituents. If we took the time to look at all the fine print and red tape in our legislation, I think we’d shit a brick from all the crap that has nothing to do with the subject at hand, or just is plain offensive and wrong, like the above notes. The Department’s site is just riddled with things like these, like the new money being set aside for water conservation out west. Personally I think they should just strap some pipes to the glaciers and knock down the dams. What do you think’s going to happen when you have cities in the desert that are exploding population wise. They decided to move to the desert! Las Vegas? Brilliant idea. Anyway, I don’t want to ramble on. I’m only getting started on this Dept. of the Interior bs.

I want to post before I get uncontrollably drunk tonight. I was just doing a lot of thinking lately about Wilmington, as I always do. I just finished reading Jonathan Waterman’s “Where The Mountains Are Nameless” about drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve. Really, I’m on the “don’t destroy nature” kick. Ok, it’s not a kick, it’s a perpetual thought in my head, thanks to Wilmington, NC. I have never seen so a much destruction of natural habitat and trees in general. All for what? to line the pocketbooks of the politicians here and the developers. That’s all good and well, “economic progress” is “sustainable.” Ha, what a joke. There is nothing sustainable about our economy. It’s a cancer that’s spreading and in the end will kill us all, physically or for some of us just spiritually. You see I don’t find my religion in some phallic looking building or from an old book that doesn’t make any sense. I find it out in those very trees that we knock down to improve the economy. Initially, I was going to blog about how everyone back home complains about there being nothing to do. If they’d only open their eyes they’d see there’s a ton of stuff. However, it’s easy for me to say that living down at the beach. The grass is always greener on the other side. Back to my point though, Wilmington and my yearning to be one on one with nature or traveling over the country to see what’s left before it’s all torn down and made into a mini-mall or condominium(to create jobs!), will never coexist together. I’ve basically gotten to the point where I know that yes I want to have a successful film career, but not for the reasons most would. The money? yah, I’ll take it, then give it away. I want to have a voice, and making a form of media that everyone can see is one of the best ways to do that. So I hope I’m super successful as a director and producer so I can give a voice to the issues I feel are important. The rest of the Hollywood bullshit I will leave behind from day one. I guarantee you I’ll be the only millionaire driving and old Ford Truck or Jeep. So I’m conflicted on how to balance a film career which I know I will have to work VERY hard at to be successful, and my free spirit that just wants to hike and see as many wild places as I can before I hit the dirt. I’m in the process of figuring this out, but damn if it isn’t a conundrum. Anyway, I’ve conceded Wilmington to the developers. Sorry Cape Fear River, long leaf pines, marshes and loggerheads…it’s over. We’ve lost. There’s too many people that like golf, and the “good life” of stamped out houses and superficial values. Game Over.

http://www.bushflash.com/pl_lo.html …a disturbing video, both visually and intellectuallly. I looked some of the info up just to make sure it wasn’t some crazy propaganda, and it seems everything including the horrible fetal abnormalities are all true. Tax dollars at work is right.

I’ve completely stolen all of this from Beau over at Jackburnslives.com/blog. Please read it, then if you like what you read stop over to his place for awhile. I’d elaborate on my feelings of all this and how it connects to Wilmington, but for now just read it and mull it over for awhile. Then do something that doesn’t involved selling you’re soul for a profit, that is if you have one left.

I recently returned from an out of town trip that I hoped would recharge the batteries, reinvigorate the senses and inspire me to say something worthwhile. Something positive, informative and of interest.

Instead, I returned even more despondent about the world than when I left.

Is it only me? Am I the only one that sees the world over flowing with self-serving, duplicitous leeches, people out to take advantage of every situation and pad their pockets at the expense of all the living things around them? Or, am I entirely too cynical and negative, failing to see enough good in people?

I’m beginning to suspect my values and mores are very different from the rest of the country. I value all life. The little sparrows that were on my patio this morning. The bears in the Smokies. The spiders in my garden. The poor and less fortunate in the inner city. The illegal immigrant trying to cross a ridiculous man made border to find a better life. The red rock of Utah. The aspen of Colorado, the majestic redwood of California, wilderness and all of the environment, which by the way, is all habitat were something is attempting to live. All of it has worth and all of it deserves not only protection, but reverence.

I don’t see myself as all important. I see myself as just one part of a complex system that’s not entitled to more than my share or to use resources at the expense of others. To the degree that it is possible, I try to live within sustainable limits. I think about such things and wonder why more people don’t.

The notions that life is a “struggle against all” in a continual war of mutual aggression and it’s the “survival of the fittest” are both not only idealogically distorted but factually wrong. Life doesn’t have to be that way, and in fact it is universally not that way.

I’d give my last dollar to a friend or even a needly stranger. I’d defend my friends, my family and my home with my life, if necessary, but only against threats that are real, not nefarious threats invented by our government. I basically find joy in life through service to others, in defending the voiceless and the weak and in challenging the status quo. I stand firmly opposed to those that would bring harm to the weak.

“I would never betray a friend to serve a cause. Never reject a friend to help an institution. Great nations may fall in ruin before I would sell a friend to save them.”-Edward Abbey

And to those that run the world, you that see limits to growth as an anathema, I stand opposed to you, too.

But alas, most people won’t sacrifice for others, especially non-humans. Most just blithely go along their merry way, sucking up resources and exploiting whenever possible. Yes, there are a growing few that stand in opposition to the dominant meme, but not enough. And that’s my problem. So few of “us,” and so many of “them.”

Is there any hope?

(here’s where I start to talk myself out of my cynicism and return to sanity)

Thus sayest Edward Abbey:

“But they have everything. They have the organization and the control and the communications and the army and the police and the secret police. They have the big machines. They have the law and drugs and jails and courts and judges and prisons. They are so huge. We are so small.”

“Dinosaurs. Cast-iron dinosaurs. They ain’t got a fucking chance against us.”

“Four of us. Four million of them, counting the Air Force. That’s a contest?”

“Bonnie, you think we’re alone? I’ll bet-listen, I’ll bet right this very minute there’s guy’s out in the dark doing the same kind of work we’re doing. All over the country, little bunches of guys in twos and threes, fighting back.”

“You’re talking about a well-organized national movement.”

“No, I’m not. No organization at all. None of us knowing anything about any other little bunch. That’s why they can’t stop us.”

From “Duologues,” The Monkey Wrench Gang

This isn’t a call to violence. It’s a call to action. Community based action. The Monkey Wrench Gang didn’t launch a national letter writing campaign. They didn’t march in front of the White House. They didn’t make a contribution to the Sahara Club. They got involved locally, in their community.

Get involved in community groups and schools. Start a community garden. Protest. Quit buying unnecessary junk. Park the car. Help a needy neighbor. Talk to people about the importance of preserving the remaining open spaces in the community.

Quit worrying about things you can’t control and focus on the things you can control. It’s the only hope we’ve got, and action is the sole cure to hopelessness.

Today as I was driving to my friends house to go scouting for some fruits and vegetables to can, I came upon a sign for a future development that I often see while driving of riding my bike on this very road. However, this morning it was different. Instead of advertising apts and condos, it was spraypainted with words that said “save trees” with a very fine illustration of what a tree looks like. There were a few of these around. This “monkeywrenching” by what I presume to be some college kids makes me proud. In fact I’m disappointed I didn’t think of it myself. It looks fantastic too. Every asshole in this town that hates those “hippies on bikes” has to drive by it in their ten ton SUV and see that work of “vandalism.” I say the vandalism is what they’re doing to the ecology around here. It’s absolutely disgusting, and I’m glad some people are finally taking a stand, even if it is at the level of a highschooler. So for whoever did the graffiti, damn fine work, damn fine. Keep up the good work brothers and sisters, there may yet be a few battles to win. On another note someone wrote in complaining of all the bikers using a road around here that is known to be one of the main biking roads because of the openness and sparser traffic. Apparently a man who moved down here was disturbed by all these bikers using this road they’ve been using for a long time and felt compelled to write the editor of the local paper about it. The link is it sirbikesalot.com he explained the whole situation very well, and on his lead I and a few others have written the editor in response to this arsehole.